Life would so easy if everything took no effort to accomplish. Then again what is worth working for it wouldn’t take any real work to do? I have many mixed feelings about the work the organization has me doing. Currently I’m split doing different work everyday. One face that I wear is to put together all of the survey data that we’ve collected from the past four years. This project itself is very time consuming requiring a lot of manual work as well as critical thinking of how to present the data. Another face is to help and learn how to run the Personal Care service. The other thing I do is to help sort the clothing donations to separate only the clothes we have shortages.
Most of this work is really menial and very service oriented. Personally, I don’t find much joy in cutting the sign up sheets for personal care or sifting through mountains of clothing for the clothing closet. I understand that there’s always boring work to make anything work effectively. Usually in the circumstance that something is tedious, there is a payout in the end. I think in this case it should be something along the lines of finding satisfaction that many people are wearing the clothing that I sorted or how hundreds of people are getting the toiletries that they need from Personal Care. I don’t find any reward in any of that work.
The only way I’ve gotten through all the work I’ve had to do is through drawing on my sense of right and wrong. It is right for me to do the work that many people need and it would be wrong to refuse. This kind of motivation is kinda driving me to apathy though. It seems like everything that I’m asked to do another menial task, I ask myself how important are my values? I hope I never reach the point that I forsake my sense of right and wrong to simply go the easier route of refusing.
This is not to say that I hate my job. I love working with my coworkers. I think that the guest know that they can get what they need here and I take a lot of pride in that. The work hours are not demanding. Honestly there really shouldn’t be a problem with the work I do. The more I do this kind of work, the more I realize how important passion is to have persistence. If your fire in your heart burns more than the work sucks your soul, you’ve found a life’s worth of work.
Since that passion for this type of social work isn’t there I’ve been drawing only on will to get through. I know that having this kind of attitude to work is not sustainable. I’ve realized so far that this kind of social work is not something I could do year in and year out. I guess I’m learn a bit about how my self-disciple functions and how important my morals are to what I do. Then again, ff it were only up to whims, nothing in this world ever work. I’d hope my morals have real weight in how I act.